Vacation. Yeah, that's right!

Well it's official; our 1st vacation...alone...is in the books. Care of my company, we were sent on a 5 day 4 night cruise out of Port Canaveral. If it was not a mandatory vaca we probably would not have gone; but we packed our bags and forced some thick skin and headed out. The mini was being watched by a harem of family...my Mom, Grandma and Aunt all drove down from MI to help us out. Well...and let's be honest, a sweet Florida vacation! As expected I cried all the way out of the neighborhood...then something strange happened; I GOT EXCITED! We had not been on a vacation since well before Ash was born. Pre pregnancy we were travelers for business and pleasure. It felt great to pack our bags and have something to look forward too. Admittedly I felt awkward. Since Ash was born, I am a party of two. The attention she commands everywhere she goes, the amount of effort needed just to get out the door, having her on my hip, the conversation piece she has become...I was alone for the 1st time in 8  months. I was just a girl; a wife. When people saw me they had no idea I had a baby; I was just Allison. I didn't have to talk about her or babies. Again, awkward. Without realizing, she has become all consuming. No kidding right?! It was nice to ease back into just being me. No bottles to wash, no diaper bag to pack for day care, no fussing, no "NO don't put that in your mouth!"...but no snuggling, no giggles, no sweet smiles. My husband and I talked about many things. We did not talk about Ash....well not really. It was a relief with out a cell phone, computer, or I-something. It was a relief to just be a wife and friend to my husband. It was nice to laugh with him and be adults. We had a great time with my co-workers. I could feel the tension melt in my shoulders. Being that Ash was with three adult women I did not find my self nervous about her well being just missed little ole her. By the last day of the trip, we were ready to swim to shore and run to her. While it was nice to escape the monotony I found myself getting itchy for the routine. I found myself wanting aching for my baby and the cozy feeling of my family of three. I can only imagine how "some day" it will feel to not come home to her. When she moves away and we don't know where she is all day. What I've learned on a VERY limited scale, God will prepare me for each of her next steps. I've thought many times, "what happens when...?" or "what will we do when she..?' and each time she is ready and so are we. That said, I now understand the ache my own Mom must feel living in Michigan and me 1800 miles away in Florida. As a daughter it's hard to live so far away from my Mom but AS the Mom...#&$*#*%(*@)!!!! But, we made it through and it was fun. We are already plotting our next adult adventure. I am excited for the possibility to enter the world of being just a girl again; with the comfort of knowing I will return to my sweet little angel and be better for it. Thank you to my family for letting us spread our wings. Thank you to my husband. We both did it. We both made the effort to reconnect. I am glad to be home. I am glad to be a Mommy....and I am really glad she is sleeping right now so I can write this!!!!